Young, wild and FREE;

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Hi Ex-boyf, I wish I could talk to you about YOU. no I'm not trying to be sarcastic or whatever but I think you really need this. I think I've understood you better than anyone else. I've been observing and listening.

You know how to reach me. anytime.

You always fail in relationships with girls, friends and even your own family. because you choose to be blind to real problem.

You.

And how you react to things.

Running away from your problems is not the answer.

We stand right at the top of a building and look down at the sights below. The height of the building represents how high your satisfaction level with life is, and the vibrancy of the sights below represent how much you've accomplished in the year.

As for me, I'm standing on one heck of a tall building and looking down at some colorful sights! Yes there are some spots colored in black and white. Those are the broken friendships and the severed relationships, the bad experiences and the fights I had. But there are some vibrantly painted areas too, because I have acheived a lot this year. I became
A cca leader, represented regent in so many competitions, won awards, got the scholarship again, got the EAGLES award, went for work attachments, actually worked and so on.

2010 was a year of hardship for me because only I know the struggle I had doing piles of assignments and revision while putting up with my photophobia and migraine.

I believe 2011 will be a year of AWESOMENESS. I'm going to make it happen, I'm not just going to sit here and merely wish.

Watch out 2011 :)

& Te'Amo, 2010.

I let you into my private blog but you did not let me into yours...

You changed the blog address and you didn't even tell me. Why do you hide things from me when I did nth to you?

Tit for tat, I'm kicking you out. selfish.

Look at me man! Stuffed full of junk. Fat as hell. Wasting my time doing NOTHING useful. I need a change if I'm going to be a new person at my new school! Herein I list all my plans for next year. Thanks for reading and supporting me :) to those haters if any, Laugh if you want but remember that at least I've got my life planned out while you're walking around aimlessly.

Mission for 2011:

*exude awesomeness every step I walk that people just wanna be me
* Become physically fit
* lose weight overall
* burn that cellulite on my thighs. Man that has GOT TO GO.
* Be that perfect Friend ( almost there )
* find that perfect best friend for me
* choose the correct person to open my heart to
* start being optimistic about everything. No more emo-ing, anger, jealousy or hate.
* start holding my chin up high and build my self-esteem
* spend my free time improving some one else's life
* eradicate the lazy bug. ERADICATE IT. I'm sick and tired of being lazy, sleeping, lying around. I gotta get up and MOVE IT.
* Improve my appearance
* improve my relationship with my family
* like I did in regent, become well known and looked up to in my new school.
* top my new school

So that's 15 stars shining high up in the sky, waiting for me to come and get them.

And I will get them! >:)

______________________________

SPEAKING OF THAT! I need to start an exercise regime RIGHT NOW before I start rolling around instead of walking. K BYE

While watching a Chinese drama serial on channel 8, we were witnessing this girl called Cat being blackmailed by a guy called Leo. He was getting money from her by threatening to circulate her nude photos. Cat's new boyfriend told her to go to the police or tell her parents or teachers. She screamed " I don't want to let anybody know!!! " .

Meanwhile, we who were watching, were wondering why in the world was Cat so stupid as to even accept Leo into her life in the first place? Leo was really a jerk. He wanted her just to do *that* w her and then when they break up, he demands "payments". Especially me. I was wondering in my head. Then my mother suddenly said this.

" Cat is a real pretty girl. But she thinks she isn't. She thinks she's ugly, stupid, disliked by everyone. CAT HAS LOW SELF ESTEEM. that's why, when any stupid idiot comes along and tells her that she's pretty, she's so mesmerized and caught up with it. And she just gives herself to the idiot thinking that no other guy is going to like such an " ugly " person like herself. Which isn't true. "

Those words struck me like lightning. It struck me, like lightning. You know why?

Because, that sounds just like me.

I'll say it bluntly. I didn't expect my first love to be such a jerk. But yeah he was. So what's the point in worrying and cursing and being angry? It already happened. And it's already over. I'm going to just... Let it go.

I don't know who my friends are anymore. Until a moment ago, I've been yearning for a best friend, someone to be close with. Nobody came. So what's the point when all humans are selfish? When they need you, you have to be there. If they dont, youre put away like an object. People you used to be so close with just... Drift away. For no reason. And it's when you depend too much on them, that you get hurt.

I gave everything for friendship. My reputation, my time, money, tears and my heart. And nothing came back. Deep inside my heart, I know I'm a good friend. and one day, I will find like minded people.

Why do I need friends when I've got the greatest family in the world?

I can do many things. I'll use that to my advantage. I'll achieve my dreams, BY MYSELF. coz that's all I need. My family, Me and my talents.

...................

I'm sorry. I don't know what came over me.

Determination. I think that's it.

Didn't post for a really long time. Well here's some quick updates.

Work:
-got a job at watsons as a gift wrapper. Quit the job after 2 weeks because I couldn't stand the management. One particular store; They abuse and exploit their part timers. Sitting down for a few seconds and even drinking water is disallowed.

- k*lly's services manager K*nny tried to cheat me. When I said I wanted to quit he said I would lose all my pay! He also said that he told me that before but obviously he didn't, what a liar! So I got my parents to screw him up. He told them I signed a contract. Like WTH, I didn't sign anything! After more screwing up, he allowed me to quit after a week.

-got a new weekend job as a physiogel promoter. Now that's what I call good money.

Relationships:

- Alvin Chan re-added me on facebook after a long time. After much contemplation on all that happened, chose to accept the request.

- made lots of new INDIAN friends ( FINALLY ) at my friend Shalini's birthday party. My my, isn't she simply gorgeous now. Met shanmuga, venesh, kugaraj and sanjeev. Northviewan friends! <3 It took them Quite a while to recognize me but yeah they did! Except kugaraj, lol. Made new friends! Mithun, durga, Ain, Fyqa.

- Latha akka, Palani Anna and their parents were so amazed that I looked so different. Haha. It was good to see them again. They used to be like family. Even shalini couldn't recognize me!

- reunited with all my higher mother tongue classmates! Shobana, Maha, Ridzuan, Alrazvee and of course Shalini. Was on cloud nine~

Time:

-Had outings w family this week. Haw par villa!









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My family ah... C R A Z Y please!

OMG! in this picture I really look like my mom's twin.



Lol while I was typing this, my brother called me from BPP. He was supposed to buy me food but he suddenly remembered he had to go there to get his pay. So he dumped my cash with me and ran.

Shafiq: buy food already?
Me: No la.
Shafiq: kk I buy.
Me: you got money meh?
Shafiq: I just got my pay what, stupid.

Lol.

That's all for now. Sayonara.