Coz there'll be no sunlight, if I lose you baby;

January 2008 February 2008 March 2008 April 2008 May 2008 June 2008 July 2008 August 2008 September 2008 October 2008 November 2008 December 2008 January 2009 February 2009 March 2009 April 2009 May 2009 July 2009 August 2009 September 2009 October 2009 November 2009 December 2009 January 2010 February 2010 March 2010 May 2010 November 2010 December 2010 January 2011 February 2011 March 2011 April 2011 May 2011 June 2011 July 2011 August 2011 September 2011 October 2011 November 2011 December 2011 January 2012 February 2012


OMG I GOT BANGS. okay actually its not the bangs-bangs, its the side swept bangs. I've finally cut my hair! does it suit me?

I fail to understand why people these days, are so bloody afraid to stand up for themselves. to stand up for what they think is right. what are you going to lose? why forsake who you are for what people want you to be, why change yourself, why adjust, why adapt? why can't you demand to be accepted as the person you already are. because that's how things should be. you are you, you are unique, you are special. stand up for your beliefs, your morals and ethics.

-

its alright to keep being nice to people even if they don't treat you as well as you treat them. that's being mature. but if they use you? take advantage of you? step all over you like some doormat? and you are still nice to them? that's called foolishness. If you know what's good for you, you should push these people out of your life because you know it is going to do you no good! just because you treat people like gold, you think they're obliged to treat you back the same way? the world does not work that way. I'm telling you, you're being used. but you just won't listen. I just don't want to see you hurt anymore babe...

-

"you apologized even though you're not at fault? that makes you the bigger person, " - Roshan Soma
 wise words. thanks buddy <3









When the idiot was a baby. where did all the cuteness go? damn!


where I currently live. only two other people will understand this ;)








I am not some novelty for you to be fascinated with for one moment, to be treated special by you the next moment, and then to be thrown away and treated like I'm not important anymore after that. I am a human being and I have feelings too. I am sick and tired of having people in my life who pretend to care, pretend to be concerned when they actually just want to make use of me. I am done being nice to them. so now I hold the door open. if you are real, stay. but if you aren't, don't bother pretending and just leave.

okay I am super bored so I decided to blog.

ugh, I can't seem to get away from facebook although I am so sick of it -.- I have got to get away from that piece of shit now! its wasting a whole lot of time I could've used to do something productive T_T didn't even study! gosh. promised him i would study and yay, I didn't. yayyyyy -.- I have got to do it from tomorrow!!! and stop using stupid facebook. maybe I should limit myself to only 2h a day? okay thats actually still a lot though it is a major cut down -.- but oh well, we all do start somewhere now don't we? ^^

started on my diet and exercise regime. arms and thighs aching, my "abs" too. today is BREAK DAY. tmrw the exercise starts again. one day intervals are good. hahaha but i think i exceeded my calorie quota for today again -_- shit. nevermind! sameera reddy i am coming!!!!




YEAH YOU HEARD ME. I AM SICK AND TIRED OF BEING FAT AND PEOPLE TELLING ME THAT IF I LOST A BIT OF WEIGHT, I'D LOOK GREAT. SO GUESS WHAT, I AM GOING TO BLOODY LOSE THAT WEIGHT NOW NOW NOW. I AM FIRED UP LIKE A ROCKET AND NOTHING IS STOPPING ME AS LONG AS SHE IS ALIVE.

MY ROLE MODEL. BYE. 2012, NEW YEAR, NEW ME BITCHESSSSSSS








This post is dedicated to the people who made my sucky 2011 end sweetly. my family, the dog, Kabila Thiagaraj, Priya Biswas and Melvin my beloved best friends and Evangeline anne my beloved cousin sister :) thank you to all of you.HAPPY 2012!

me? yeah, I do get ticked off very easily. but for me to feel real anger, that's not very common. but when I do get angry, I get very angry. and when I get very angry, my vocabulary is apt to destroy someone's soul completely. I can't control it. I'm not a violent person, but I express myself entirely through words. which explains the reason why I am as I am. right now I still feel so bad for getting angry with you. although It was your fault mostly, I still feel so bad because I know how much my words would've hurt you. the next time I get angry and start spewing, just don't take anything I say to heart yet until you know I have calmed down. I hate to fight boy, I'm a peace lover. I tolerate a lot. but sometimes I can't take it you know? that's when i explode, and when I do, I do it violently. its my weakness yes, but its something that makes me who I am. I hope you can accept the flaws I have. Because baby, I accept yours completely <3 I really can't imagine my life without you, boy. I won't ever walk out of your life, its a promise. just promise me the same thing.

Because...



took this picture with my dog a few seconds ago because I had nothing to do. haha kidding. I love my dog no matter how mean she is to me and treats me like HER dog. yeah no kidding, she growls at me a lot -.- but i still love her :) and gosh my party is tomorrow and I have preparations aplenty! LIKE CLEARING MY ROOM FOR EXAMPLE. OH GOD. I gotta go now! bless those who are coming tomorrow. gotta go! tata!

Little Bad Girl- David Guetta ft. Taio Cruz and Ludacris; new favourite song!

kaybye!



it was a sweet surprise. they made up a story that there was another girl they were choosing a gift for. they asked me to help them to choose the gift. they described the girl to have the same build as me and the whole story was very convincing. in the end they were making me choose a gift for myself. it was a sweet surprise! love them <3

wow! I am so stressed! I have got so many events to plan and to attend too! I'll lay them down for you right now.

13/12- USS trip with cousins
15/12-Mom's surprise party
17/12- one month commemoration!
19/12- Rathi's surprise party
20/12-my party and chalet
25/12-CHRISTMAS and there might be a party for that too!
31/12- NEW YEAR'S EVE

NOW WOULD YOU LOOK AT THAT! wow. I am going nuts. thank you Kaustubh for sitting down and helping me along with the planning for the 20/12 party! finally I've got that event planned out, but not fully either *rolls eyes* and you know what's the best part? I WAS SUPPOSED TO START STUDYING THIS DECEMBER!!! and all I have done is a teeny weeny bit of MATH -_- haha. gosh. but sometimes being stressed up and busy like this feels kinda exhilarating. it makes you feel like you actually HAVE A LIFE. HAHAHA. that's the reason why I'm only updating now! been so busy! and on top of all of that, don't forget my social circle too! I have been entertaining so many people and solving so many problems, be it friendship or relationship issues and giving advice and all that, plus going in and out of my own problems as well! what a stressful month december is turning out to be! whewwwww. to think that its not going to ever die down until next year. I AM DOOMED. hahaha.

on a more serious note, time is really just flying right out of the window. no joke. right jumbo? it feels like we just met but wow, its going to be ONE MONTH in a few days. wow, W-O-W. haha. I am having a ride trying to catch up with all the fast-paced action. I hope i dont fall and die along the way. HAHAHA.

a major problem just occured yesterday... apparently due to a problem between Z and J, now the whole clique got involved and had a big argument with J and L, and they are now officially outcasted and hated by the whole group. Yesterday I was extremely pissed off because everybody kept me in the dark and never told me anything until the whole problem ended with this separation of cliques. why is this my problem, you would like to know? well right now, B is on one side and J who's my COUSIN, is on the other side. I'm stuck between the two sides, do any of you realize how difficult things are for me right now? I'm still quite agitated about this. the next time I come to RP, how awkward are things going to be? I still want to see J&L and at the same time, the other clique considers me in their family and all and obviously you guys would be a little bothered about me still seeing J&L? no? argh whatever okay. I refuse to take sides. my decision stands.

sometimes this is why I don't like to be in cliques at all. problems like these ALWAYS happen.

okay back on a more pleasant note, I can't wait for my party. its going to be a whole lotta fun! I hope everybody whom I invited will be able to come :D

till next time, ciao!

Maybe just two months ago, I met this person. in the present day, i feel like i've known him forever. why? this guy be may be the only person who shares my soul. yes, in every aspect of character, HE IS ME and vice versa. its shocking and incredible and amazing, but its true. 

NOVEMBER has been a month of changes... I found out I was retaining, I made a group of new friends, something happened on the 17th that changed my life, I found out who my true friends are.... yes november has been a month of lessons. may december be a month of happiness and festive cheer. no more fights and no more tension.



I'm done feeling like the bad person here. I'm done. Ignore me all you want. If you want to push me out of your life, fine. Note that I'll never come back into it ever again. This is probably going to sting a little, but  I have to say this. If this is how you behave and treat your friends when a small little problem crops up, then it explains why you're always alone. Look, people make mistakes. I effed up, so did you. so, learn to forgive and forget on the spot. that's how you keep friends in your life, and thats how bonds are strengthened.

you're not even close to righteousness, let alone perfection. so stop wallowing in your own self-pity. be a man and stand the hell up. you are also at fault here, OWN UP TO YOUR MISTAKE. didn't I do it? didn't I admit my fault and apologize? people apologize because they value their friendship more than their ego. you said sorry that day, and then suddenly I don't exist in your life after that. so if you're not sorry, don't abuse the word. don't apologize for the sake of doing so. if you don't need me in your life, its fine. I don't need someone like that in my life either.

"I treated you like my best friend sarah" complete and utter BULLSHIT.





I AM SORRY, WILL YOU PLEASE FORGIVE ME? 

I really need to sort myself out right now. I have a million questions. lets both answer my questions.

Babe you are going too fast, I think you need to slow things down right now.

is what you're feeling love? or is it lust? I like you very much but I dont know you well enough to fall in love with you yet. because love is an emotion, it is a feeling that cannot form based on looks. of course not lust.

were you attracted by looks or were you attracted to the personality? personality.

what do you know about me? is that enough for you? there's nothing much i know, and no its clearly not enough for me at all.

do you know the difference between being in a relationship and dating? dating is when you both like each other and you know it. you bring each other out, in private! and get to know each other better. its like an interview. each other's likes and dislikes, how the other reacts to situations, their comfort zones etc etc. a relationship is the step you take after dating and confirming with yourself that this is the right person for you. a relationship is a confirmation seal that you want to spend the rest of your life with this person. so yes, i do know the difference. 

do you know the real meaning of true love? yes, love is a feeling. it first forms when you feel a certain chemistry with someone, a chemistry you have never felt before, where you suddenly start talking more, paying more attention to the way you present yourself and the way you walk. it starts to grow when you learn more about the person's character and you realize that you like it, you like the way it complements YOUR personality so well. it blossoms when you realize you start to remember small details about the person that are actually so insignificant to others, but so significant to you for no reason. when your heart starts to race when you hear the person's name, or hear the person laugh. when you catch yourself smiling for no reason. Love is finally complete when you realize that the other person has been feeling the same towards you. and yes, this entire process takes time. months and sometimes years, but NEVER a matter of days. 


now, it is time for you to answer them.







I'm so happy you came into my life, its a really happy change for me. I've never met someone so genuine, caring and sweet like you. yes, you are very genuine and it's very elusive to see someone like that. you're rare like a gem in the earth. you're a keeper, I know it.  I have always felt like something was missing, but now I feel complete because I met you. yes, we just met but I feel like I've known you forever, and although i cease to understand why that is so, I know its somehow because you are someone I can count on for life. If you weren't there to listen to all my screams of anguish, my woes and my laments about my bad days... I don't know what I would have done. Its amazing because, you knew what I needed from you. I just needed you to listen, and that's just what you did, nothing more. you are one of a kind and that's why I feel gifted to have you in my life. you have a beautiful character, heart and soul. Thank you for coming into my life. No words can describe how much you mean to me. I know I'm far from perfect and I know you will have to understand a lot when I'm unable to talk to you or see you when you need me. but I can tell you, you're the one person who's this close to perfection in my eyes.

please stay <3

(the background is stupid, ignore it -.-)